I think the most important thing that I have learned about my relationship with my mental health in the last few months (since I’ve been going to therapy, really), is that most of what I was feeling was a direct result of my cognitive processes. Basically, the way I was thinking and what I was thinking would directly influence my emotions and my emotional health, and I never really conceived of the two as separate from each other before. What I realized is that a lot of the struggles I was having surrounding my emotional health came out of a tendency I had (and still have, to some level, but I’ve gotten a lot better about it) to impose really harsh self-judgments about the things i was feeling, telling myself it was irrational or pathetic or stupid to feel the way I did, and that would in turn just make me more upset for being unable to stop myself from feeling these things. So it would sort of just turn into an endless spiral. There were points at which my baseline emotional state was so just… sad, I was so sad all the time that I couldn’t remember what it was normal/socially acceptable to be sad about. Because I was just sad, all the time, about everything. I’ve noticed that my depression will attach itself to things (failed relationships, academic stress); like I use those struggles to rationalize it and in a way that helped me make myself believe that it was just me being unable to deal with emotions that all other humans have, like it was just a failure on my part. I’ve learned to be a lot kinder to myself, to allow myself to sit with my discomfort and sadness and like, validate it, to allow myself to feel whatever I’m feeling, and try and take the time to figure out why I feel that way, and to just affirm to myself that yeah, it still hurts, and yeah, it’s still hard, but that’s okay, and it’s okay for me to feel these things. Out of everything, that’s helped the most. Just learning to be kind to myself.Visually, I guess what it feels like most often is drowning. Like being pulled under the current of something that, when it’s shallow, is easy to swim through, but can also pull you under really swiftly and fill up your lungs until you can’t breathe. I also feel like, viscerally, like an ache in the left side of my chest, like this expanding empty space that’s pushing at the walls of my chest. And then sometimes I feel like my anxiety is this dark hungry beast that sleeps in my chest and wakes up when it can feel me starting to worry, just to edge me forward.Sahana, age 21
Don’t fall in love with someone like me, I will take u to the 711 for a hotdog date. This is why storms are named after ppl…
Finished and scanned Grackle painting!
Contemporary Art Week!
Leo and Diane Dillon
Leo and Diane Dillon were one of the greatest illustration teams in the history of Fantasy Art. Books that have used their illustrations for cover or inside art include an edition of the Narnia books, Garth Nix’s Sabriel, Lirael and Abhorsen, Her Stories and The Girl Who Spun Gold by Virginia Hamilton, The Earthsea Trilogy by Ursula K. LeGuin, Aida by Leontyne Price, The Girl Who Dreamed Only Geese by Howard A. Norman, and many, many more.
There is a blog dedicated to archiving their work here.
*becomes a slime lord to casually melt out of conversation with overbearing coworker*
♥ embroidery for the ignorant ♥